I found myself getting somewhat overwhelmed by things yesterday. You know what it is like when something goes on in your head, and then every other frikkin thing gets in the way – it is like this parade of shit going through your mind where everyone wants to get heard and everything wants your attention. You know what I am talking about right ?

So, last night I took the long and scenic route home, spent a bit of time appreciating the weather and everything for what it is right now – when you don’t have much sun around, you tend to realise how special it is when you do see it and it kind of makes things look different somehow. I looked at all the situations going on in my life currently, some of them big and some of them small, as you may well know and I realised how fucking lucky I actually am. I was getting upset with myself for letting myself have certain feelings, for thinking certain things and for just worrying the whole time and I guess it took getting to the state of overwhelm for me to take stock of things.

I learnt that you can’t control everything going on in your life – yes, I know that we all know that but do we actually listen to it and apply it all the time? Working in the personal development industry, there comes a stage, I guess, where you kind of second-guess everything you are feeling and thinking and doing. What part of me is this and what part of me is that ? Why am I doing this and why am I doing that ? It can be very empowering, but in my opinion, it can also make you, to some extent, doubt a lot of things as well. Now that is my opinion alone and some of you may very well disagree with it, but hey, that is life.

It made me see that it is OK to just feel sometimes. As painful as it is, it is good. It made me reach out and speak to people as well, not many, but it is a start. And it made me realise that some people come into your life for a fucking amazing reason. You care for them for who they are, for what you learn about them and for what you see about yourself in them. They have stuff going on to and when you are in that state of overwhelm, it is so easy to just forget about things.

I don’t know what today is going to bring, but you know what, right now I don’t give a shit. That may sound careless and senseless but hey, that’s me mate, and that’s how I am going to get through things right now. If things happen, they happen and if they don’t, then they don’t but the sun is shining, my thoughts are still racing and my mind is all over the place and today is today !

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