I was talking with my “brother” the other day and reflecting on life and everything else that goes with it and he said something to me that made me think. He said “you learn lessons so hard and so fast that I find I learn a lot from just being around you” and so based on that, I thought I would share with you the TOP 4 Lessons I have learnt this month.

  • My opinion of myself is the ONLY ONE that really matters

No matter how many times people tell you things about yourself – unless you truly believe it in your heart and accept it and own it as your own – there is no way that you will ever believe it. I used to listen to people tell me things about myself, I would say thank you, yet in my head, it was not making sense. I would then get upset when people said other things about me, sometimes even the same people who passed compliments in the past. So therefore, I contsantly fought with myself and all these conflicting things that were being said.

I can only see the world as I know it – nothing else is ever going to change that, and therefore, I can only see myself as I know myself. Like my own, people’s opinions are ALWAYS changing – things happen, things influence our beliefs and values and decisions and opinions change. But when I am sure of who I am and own who I am, and I live my life in accordance with my beliefs and values, then really, it is only my opinion of myself that matters. If I see a trend of people getting upset with me, I can take a look at myself and see why I am creating that and if there is anything I need to change. If there isn’t and I am happy with myself, then why the frikkin hell should I let other people’s opinions of me upset me.

And if I live my life influenced by everybody else’s ever changing opinions (just like mine) then how I can I be the authentic person I strive to be because you know what, there are 6 billion people in the world and there is no way I am ever going to please all of them, so I may as well start off by making sure I am happy with myself and not let other people influence who I am or how I react or live my life.

  • When you speak openly and honestly from the heart, people listen and take inspired action

There was a time in my life when all I could do was talk the biggest load of crap there ever was, and then I used to wonder why people did not take any notice of me. Imagine for a minute, if you would, that you could only speak (say) 500 words a day and that was it. What would you say and how would you use those words ? Would you make the most of them and make sure you spoke your honest truth and message or would you just waste them with nonsense ? There is so much going on in the world that we are conditioned to “listen” to every day that it is no wonder so few voices are truly heard.

A few people asked me recently about a detox / cleanse that I did a while back, and I spoke about what it did for me, based on my true life fact and from the heart, because it made a huge impact on my life. A little while later, quite a few people took action and decided to have a go for themselves. It was pretty humbling to know that my words could inspire someone to take action and was a good learning for me.

  • It’s OK to let go of stuff

When I got out of hospital many years ago (November 2002) I met a young student priest, who was very very open minded. He helped me a great deal, considering that I had been in hospital as a result of trying to take my own life (again) and I was pretty feckin lost – I was angry and I hated myself for what I had put my family through and I did not see the point of carrying on. After spending 3 full and intense days with him, and having some pretty profound breakthroughs back then, he gave me a parting gift that I have carried with me EVERY SINGLE DAY since then – his rosary (who I called Lordy.) Now those of you that really know me will know how important my own personal faith is in my life, and Lordy has helped me through some pretty tough shit. He has always been there as a reminder that somebody greater than myself believed in me enough to give me a fourth or fifth chance !

We went swimming one night when I was in Portugal, and I put Lordy down on my towel. It was quite late and the tide was coming in, so I ran to move my towel, carefully picking it up. We then went back into the sea and carried on swimming and chatting. I then go out and went to dry myself, and noticed that Lordy was not there. Now let me explain – there have been times in the past when I have driven to work, realised that I had left Lordy at home and turned around to go and collect Him – that is the importance he held in my heart, and one day soon, I know you will understand this more. Anyway, instead of the insane panic that would normally overcome me, all that was there was an overwhelming sense of peace and calm. In my heart, I knew that it was OK to just let go and have faith. How many times in the past did I fight and push myself through stuff, when had I just embraced it and accepted things and just let go, it would have been so much more liberating. I turned and hugged my “brother” knowing that letting go is the most exciting thing we can ever do in our lives. Why hold on to stuff that keeps one foot trapped in the past when all we have to do is let it go?

  • Don’t be afraid to ask for help

Something like this used to terrify me – I guess because my opinion of myself was not that great, I was too afraid to speak openly from the heart and therefore, I was hanging on to shit from the past !!! But when I realised that I was sure of who I was and what I wanted, that my opinion mattered and if I let go of my shit and spoke openly from my heart, it was OK to ask for help. I did and the answers I got blew me away !

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